don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You're like the curious george of whores
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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