stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
