I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
