Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
