I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
its liver damage thursday
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize