i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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