Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
