who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
