Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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