Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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