she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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