she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
