idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just cut my nipple shaving
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
