The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
