Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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