Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
