Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
