So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
