this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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