you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
