Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
