Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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