it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
