so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
