just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
