If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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