i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
