I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
