i was born a porn star she said
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
