Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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