I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
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