yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
