We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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