i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
