windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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