oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Small penises have feelings too.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
