There was a lot of him and a little penis
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize