Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
