AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
