it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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