My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
