i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize