I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
