your thong is hanging out like whoa
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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