I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
