So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
