I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
