No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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