i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
