Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
