She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
