Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
