I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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