I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
