i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
