So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
