I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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