I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize