The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
