Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
