Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
