Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
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