normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
only if we run a train.
done.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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