What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
