You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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