Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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