Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize