Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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