i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
