Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
