I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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