VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
