Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
