You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
