I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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