Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
