If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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