My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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