All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
We smell like vodka and hangover
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