don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
